The laws of Sunhill Sanatorium were primarily made for the T.B.’s. Those patients not T.B. were more or less free-lances. We were therefore pounced upon by T.B. patients as legitimate prey to question for information regarding the “how bad state” of new patients. I never walked with the ‘Ups’; otherwise I would have been asked about everybody and myself too. I heard that during the long slow walks of the ‘Ups’ I was the subject of a good deal of speculation. “No cough, no food restrictions, no temperature.” Yet, here I remained in the Sanatorium month after month. Did anyone know what was the matter? “Heart perhaps?” “No, I have an Aunt with heart, etc.” “Liver?” “In that case she would be sallow. I once had a friend—” “You don’t think it can be mental?” “Mental nothing! Her tongue is sharp enough to mow the lawn.” The Gossips strolled along.

The discussion jogged to the time of their slow feet and got them nowhere. It was young Jenny who used to tell me of these wonderings at my expense. They knew the child was dear to me and I to her, but Jenny was close-lipped. When they put their questions to her direct, she replied, “I don’t know. I only know I love her. The San says we are not to talk disease.” The child was very loyal to the San and to me.

The favourite walk of the ‘Ups’ was to Stillfield village. The village shop sold peppermint bull’s-eyes, soap, stamps, and cigarettes. The proprietor, Mrs. Stocking, waited on San patients grudgingly; got them out of her shop as soon as possible. “T.B. bug-carriers” the village folk called San patients. They were angry when the Sanatorium was put in the district, although the San brought trade to the village and did not lie close to it. If village folk met patients on the roads they crossed and turned their faces away.

The San bus rattled through the village at train-time, picked up patients and mail and rattled home again, disturbing nothing but the dust. Matron sorted the mail and set the letters climbing the wire rack in her office. The ‘Ups’ waited, watching, apparently indifferent. They took their letter from the rack casually. In the corridor they hugged the envelope close, hurried to their room, laid it on the bedside table till Dr. McNair’s visit was over. (Letters reddened one’s nose and eyes most embarrassingly; being sloppy was such bad form.) You’d got to stay here till Dr. Sally Bottle released you. Cry-babying only smashed your morale, made the powers that ruled angry.

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